NBA All Star Game Diary

Note to readers…this is my (MJ) 1st foray into the world of blogging, so if you don’t like it…well that’s your right. Don’t expect my punctuation to be all that spectacular.

Houston Symphony Orchestra playing for the player introductions….They Sound great but….2001 Space Odyssey should only be played when the “Nature Boy” Ric Flair is in the building. Who would be more surprised by the use of an Ozzy Osbourne song by an orchestra (Crazy Train), Ozzy or the Orchestra?

So whose idea was it for the East All Stars to reenact In-Sync’s Bye Bye Baby Video?

Shaq is by far my favorite comedian/personality in the league…

Yao Ming and Steve Nash seemed very uncomfortable doing the robot.

Nice cross-promotion by the league allowing a WNBA fan dressed as a lumberjack to sing the Canadian national anthem….

Destiny’s Child was magnificent…I mean it…..they sound like angels…..but seriously isn’t it tough to recognize anyone besides Beyonce? Which one is Kelly? Which one is Michelle? Which one almost fathered Roy Williams baby?

1st Quarter

These are the worst uniforms I have ever seen….the 1975 Astros thought the color scheme was questionable.

Lots of defense being played in this one…..

4 Pistons just came on the floor at the 4 minute mark….it’s the 1st time this has happened since 1990 when AC Green was inexplicably voted on to the west all-stars as a reward for being the only player in the league at the time without illegitimate kids.

After one quarter we’re tied at 28….

2nd Quarter

David Aldridge reports that the 76ers have no interest in trading Alan Iverson, much to the chagrin of the city of brotherly love. I guess Philly fan is unaware that AI makes $20 million….Did you know the 76ers will be paying Jamal Mashburn and Todd McCullough a combined $42 million over the next 2 seasons? Incidentally those 2 gentlemen have been retired since the millennium. But keep convincing yourself that the 76ers woes are AI’s fault Philly.

Apparently Tracy McGrady was saving his one good shooting performance of the month for tonight…he’s 6-10 from the field thus far….check that another 3, 7-11.

A Ray Allen breakaway slam forces a Flip Saunders timeout…he is not happy with King James right now…

Vince Carter just Stromile Swifted a dunk….lots of elevation, zero result.

2 Tony Parker uncontested layup puts the west up 16. You have to credit Eva Longoria for Tony’s game; he’s the 1st guard ever with a shot to lead the league in FG%. He obviously gets plenty of practice scoring close to the hole.

Marv just informed me that Carrie Underwood will be performing at halftime….Time to hit the head…West leads 70-53 at the break…..Wait, one more thought Tracy McGrady just told Craig Sager that Charles Barkley told him to use this game as an escape goat….I’m not making this up.

Ok…while halftime performances were going on, I just realized that the “John Legend” who is currently performing at Toyota Center, was sipping Courvoisier with Wexy and I at Kevin Garnett’s party Thursday night. (Incidentally, KG never showed for this one…though a sober Lawrence Taylor was in attendance.)

3rd Quarter

T-Mac opens the 3rd with back to back jumpers…he’s 10-14…and if he doesn’t keep this up for Wednesday against the Clippers I’m going to be pissed….He just hit another 3…he’s got 26 points in 16 minutes. TNT just flashed Wilt Chamberlain’s 42 point outburst in 1967 as the All-Star record. Steve Nash will try to get T-Mac this record.

The East is on a 10-0 run accented by Lebron James 3 cutting the lead to 7 points, 85-78. Keep telling yourself that Kobe Bryant and Dwayne Wade are better players than Lebron James. Then I’ll remind you that he is at-least their equal, and Lebron is only 20. Dude is going to be scary. I can’t wait to see Cleveland in the playoffs- with or without Larry Hughes.

Bron-Bron with another trifecta, but doesn’t get back on defense…Shawn Marion, (proof that you don’t need a brain to be an incredible force on the basketball court{are you listening Stromile Swift?}), goes for the and-1.

Ben Wallace just rejected Pau Gasol on 3 straight shots. The entire country of Spain still waiting for their 1st ever All-Star basket.

On the other end Big Ben’s teammate, Rip Hamilton with his 1st All-Star bucket…it’s a 2 point ball game.

10 turnovers from the west in the 3rd…we head to the 4th 97-94, good guys.

4th quarter

Chauncy Billups with an acrobatic and-1 layup and the Pistons err East has tied it up at 97!

Billups to Sheed…and the Pistons take the lead….Chauncy another deuce….so clutch.

COME ON AVERY JOHNSON!!!! COACH SOMEBODY!! The Pistons are on a 10-0 run, and lead by 4…no one on the west floor squad has any stones(And Avery should know this, Dirk plays for him every day)…put Kobe and T-Mac back in.

During the timeout TNT goes through celebs….Snoop, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Lauren Hill, and Donald Faison(I’m told he’s on a show called “Scrubs”). To me Donald Faison will always be the cowboy-har wearing black drummer for the band Love Burger in the fantastic Jennifer Love Hewitt vehicle Can’t Hardly Wait.

T-Mac just crossed over Bron-Bron for a pull-up 3…The Pistons still lead by 6.

T-Mac and Kobe going cold, Lebron with a rim rattler, he now has 27 and the west trails by 10.

Marv just informed me that outside of T-Mac’s 4-9 effort from beyond the arc, the West is 0-15 from downtown.

Lebron just pulled an MJ from the 1991 finals with an up N under layin inbetween The Diggler and McGrady.

119-116 East with 1:08 remaining…

Steve Kerr just stole my line noting that Lebron just pulled an MJ in the 1991 finals.

Kobe with a slam, it’s a 2 point game….Lebron, an ill-advised 3, Ray Allen rebound.

Kobe just took on the entire east squad and tied up the game with a ridiculous fadeaway.

D-Wade puts back an Answer miss and the East leads by 2 with 16 seconds to play.

T-Mac should take this final 3, but probably Kobe will hog the ball err take the shot.

Incidentally, it’s worth mentioning that if this game does not go OT, it will be the 1st All Star Game under the total in NBA history…all of Las Vegas is on their seats.

Lebron fouls T-Mac on a 3, it’s not called and Vince Carter ends the game by applying yet another Stromile Swift technique on the rim. (see earlier entry for explanation of The Swift)


A fairly underwhelming All Star game ends 122-120 to the East. Lebron James is your MVP….it won’t be his last. David Stern awkwardly introduces the retiring Russ Granik…truly a great TV moment.

Next year, let the Pistons take on the west…..